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As if Trumps face wasn’t bad enough, since running for president, his debates, interviews, and worst of all – tweets – are beyond nauseating. Worse still, the fact that he’s in the running, supported by millions of fellow mental midgets is enough to give anyone flu-like symptoms. So if you’ve had enough just about enough of Donald Trump, then you need to go on a Trump detox. The following 10-steps will bring you back to center, to what really matters in the world. That is, until Trump wins and ruins everything forever.
Go for a stroll in the woods, leaving your phone at home. The temptation to check Twitter is just too strong out in nature. And according to stats, 1 out of every 10 tweets contains a #Trump
Take your kids fishing. If you don’t have kids, take someone else’s. It’s very hard for any Trump related news to travel across water while you’ve have a pole in both your hands.
Go to the beach and watch the migration of the turtles. Watch nature as it struggles gracefully, not blathering vulgarities at the top of its lungs like Trump does.
Do some star gazing a mile or two out of town. The awe-inspiring beauty of our galaxy is far more mesmerizing than Trump’s policy ideas.
Roast marshmallows by a campfire. Not only do they taste great, but they’re kinda shaped like Trump’s head. So essentially, you can imagine yourself setting his head on fire.
Feed some geese by the pond. Geese can be rather obnoxious animals as they hiss at you when you don’t feed them on command. But they’re about as annoying as nature gets – which by comparison – is delightfully pleasant compared to Trump.
Go rock climbing. Why? Because if Trump gets his wall, we’re all gonna need to learn how to scale it to get the hell out of here.
Seinfeld re-runs. Yes, turn on some real comedy that didn’t need to use Trump for its material.
Help an old lady across the street. It may be the last chance you get, because the shock of Trump winning the election is enough to give everyone a heart attack that the elderly just won’t be able to survive.
On the last day you’ll need to wean yourself back to reality, a very scary reality at that. So spend the day watching something almost as scary, but not quite as much. We suggest the Exorcist 1, 2, and 3.